Day 3:

Recent ladybug infestation

We wish we were talking about this ladybug costume

or these ladybug cupcakes

or this 1992 Rodney Dangerfield Ladybug movie.

But we’re YourBoro, and dammit, we deliver the NEWS. Here’s what hundreds of Boro residents have been dealing with for the last week:

People have been complaining about these monstrosities crawling into their homes through cracks in walls and ceilings the last few days. Ladybugs are quite possibly the worst insects for you to have in your home, and here is why.

• They are considered, by most cultures, to be bearers of good luck
• Their only reason for being in your home is to hibernate through the winter, and will not attract any other bugs
• They eat aphids, scales, mites and other small pests

Wait. Sorry, that was a list of GREAT reasons to have ladybugs in your home. Here’s a bad one.

• “In Iran, two Persian words are used [for "Ladybug"] both meaning “shoe cobbler”. There is an old story about a woman who tells her husband upon his return from work that a “cobbler” spent the whole day with her and in fact sat on her lap. Hearing this, he flies in to a rage and kills his unfaithful wife. Just then, he notices a ladybug walking in the room and he cries out “Oh my God, that kind of cobbler”.

So it is entirely safe to assume that ladybugs make people commit murder. They also smell when you crush or swat them. Thus rendering them invincible. If you really want to take your chances and let them crawl around your house, BE OUR GUEST. Just don’t come crying to us when you “accidentally” murder your wife.

Asshole.